The New Interpretation of the Early Bird gets the Worm

I have a love/hate relationships with cliches.

At first, I loved them. Just take a look at my grade five creative writing journals. Every story ends with one.

And then I didn't like them. They fell in the same category as air quotes and the constant over-use of "Excellent, Smithers!" while drumming my fingers together. I didn't particular like them but I kept using them as I communicated.

And now I find that I'm back to sorta liking them again. Although, today I've decided to modernize a few and re-invent a few to reflect my life.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

New meaning:

10 minutes locked in my bathroom in silence makes me a better mom

All in due time

New meaning:

No, I said you need to wait for me to finish this before I get you a drink

Never pet a burning chicken

New meaning

Well, this is just sage advice. You don't mess with a classic.

One bird in hand is worth two in the bush

New meaning

It's easier to carry a duck than a tree full of blue jays

Slow and steady wins the race

New meaning

Someday the laundry will get done

Things aren't what they used to be

New meaning

Does anyone know where Mom's broom handle went to? Is that what's holding up your fort right now?

Chatty Cathy

New meaning

Please be quiet and don't interrupt, you're Dad and I are trying to talk.

Fork it over

New meaning

The cutlery is your job and there's no playing til it's done.

Full of himself

New meaning

Mom, 'Drew's diaper is full

How about you? Any cliches you can turn into Mom-isms?