My bro has an incredible sense of humour. It is ridiculously funny. And he's the only grown man I know who giggles. He giggles until he cries from laughing so hard. Because that's just how he is.
When we were teenagers, we liked to drive my mother crazy.
Particularly in the grocery store.
I think she used to call us, "Hooligans" but I'm not sure because we were too busy giggling to hear her.
One of our favourite tricks was to see how much we could embarrass each other and keep a straight face while doing it.
Point in case, the fateful time Jesse spotted me at the end of the grocery aisle and bellowed, "Good news, Allie! I found the ex-lax you were looking for. I didn't know what kind you wanted so I picked up regular and extra strength for you. Which one do you want?"
I would look at him at the end of the aisle. And then I'd look at the old man who was looking at me, the young couple who was still holding a can of soup yet staring at me and the other three people in the aisle who gave me their full attention to get my response.
And I, after being embarrassed beyond belief, would mumble something unintelligible.
Until...I would catch him with my mom in one aisle and call out, "Jess, come quick. The jock itch cream you need is on sale in aisle four. Quick, there's only three bottles left and I know you need lots."
To which, my mother would then race out of the aisle muttering something unintelligible while the other shoppers backed away from my brother in case what he supposedly had was catching.
My mother swore she would stop taking us shopping with her. Especially when we started in on the need for triple ply toilet paper and hemorrhoid creams.
It was all in fun. Truly, Mom, it was.
And then there was the time my mom did leave us in the car as she went grocery shopping. She made good on her threats.
But we managed to find a way to make our own mischief. You would think a 17 year old and a 14 year old would have something better to do.
But no. No, we did not.
It all started as the windows began to fog up. I was writing something crazy about my brother on the window and he said, "I'm going to unroll the windows a bit before someone thinks we're fogging up these windows for the wrong reason."
I threw something at his head.
And then it began...
My brother, ever mindful of doing things at the exact right moment, waited until a middle aged couple was walking past. And then...ever so loudly, in a defensive voice says, "Stop touching my bum!"
He quickly ducks down as the couple turn and look and see...me.
Me, myself and I.
My brother pokes his head up and says, "Stop it!"
The couple shakes there head and gives me a look before walking off.
I throw something at my brother's head.
Several years later, I was staying with an elderly couple.
They had a dog named Duke who ate all my chocolates but he wore a bandana around his neck and looked so cute that I would forgive him.
I was forever telling Gerry about my family and all the crazy things we would do. Gerry had a great sense of humour and would love the antics my brother and I got into. We would laugh and then he'd tell me stories about his family.
I worked at a TV studio that was across town and I had to ride the bus to get there. One day, Gerry offered to pick me up from work as he would be on that end of town that day. I was very grateful to escape the bus ride and eagerly accepted the offer.
Ah, a chance to get home early!
But wouldn't you know it...rush hour and an accident left Gerry and I stuck in the middle of downtown on the busiest street. We were wedged in between people and cars as we waited to make an exodus out of the traffic jam.
As we were at a complete stand still, Gerry tried to cheer me up about not getting home early. I wasn't having any of that-- I remained in a bit of a pout.
So, to my shock and awe, in the middle of this busy street, Gerry, my 69 year old friend, unrolls his window and yells...
you guessed it...
"Stop touching my bum!"
I think I threw something at his head.