Friday, March 12, 2010

Blame it on Milli Vanelli...they wrote a song about it...or did they?

Marion: "My god! Have I taught you nothing?"
Liza:"Yes mother, you have taught me nothing."

Another soap opera worldview I adopted in my past was blaming my mother.
Shock and awe! I know, I seem so innocent.
But then, so did Liza Colby.

At one point in life (and it was after my teen years), I blamed my mother for e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.

It wasn't really fair to her because:
1. She was a single parent and she should have only gotten 50% of the blame. But my dad had died and there was no one else to parentally blame (stay tuned to see how I used his death as a crutch)
2. It's never fair to blame your mother...only convenient because it's a universal truth that we all want to blame our mothers, hope that we aren't exactly like them but pray that we can make lasagna the same way they did
3. She did her best, not that I cared whenever I pulled out the "it's my mother's fault" card, but she did do her best

Marion:"The last innocent words you uttered were ga-ga-goo-goo!"
OK, so I admit to blaming my mother. I have had no halo above my head.
But why did I blame her.
Why does anyone blame?
I'll tell you the cause of pointing my finger at my Mom.

I blame Adam.

Yep. Adam was the one who started it all.
When God confronted him with his sin of disobedience, Adam said, "It was this woman you gave me."
And since Adam, the blame game has been going around.

I blamed my mom for all sorts of things.
Some of my favourite reasons were used to resolve the following issues:
1. I was being lazy ...because my mother never taught me to do anything
2. I was arrogant...because my mother told me I could do anything
3. I had temper tantrums...because my mother never stopped me from having them at an early age

Here's the thing.
In the above list, it doesn't matter what my Mom did do, didn't do or tried to do. I didn't care about my mother. I cared about covering my own failings. Mom's can be a convenient quilt at times to hide behind.
And in blaming her, I distanced myself from the potential of a close relationship with her.

Blame only does one hurts everyone.

As I mature in Christ, I have come to learn one thing.

I and I alone have sinned against God alone.
No one else will stand with me when I stand before my Maker.
Not even my mother.
No one else will be there to account for my deeds. It will be some serious one on one time with me and the Father.

God doesn't want me to cast blame. He wants me to surrender all the fear of my shame to His capable hands. All the shame that would say, "You won't love me God if I admit to I will deny it."
He wants me to rest in His love.
Be secure there and know that His love is enough.
That what Jesus did for me on the cross is enough.
Love is enough.
Love is patient and kind...and never casts blame. It holds up the truth.

And the truth is: My mom did the best she could, I made a lot of mistakes, Jesus loved me enough to pay for those mistakes, I am forgiven. That's the whole truth.

Well, that and...I can't make lasagna like my mother.
But that's not my fault

...or is it?

1 comment:

Camie said...

Great post...Very thought provoking! I just love the way you write and think! Blessings girl!