Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Convenient Memory Tricks

And now, as promised, my first series on my blog:
Soap Opera Sayings
Like sand through the hourglass so is the drama in my life.
(Cue music and cheesy sunset picture with an hourglass)

Celeste: What's your name?
Scottie: Scottie.
Celeste: Who are you?
Scottie: I don't know.
Celeste: So, you have amnesia?
Scottie: Maybe... what's amnesia?
Celeste: Loss of memory.
Scottie: I don't remember, but I'm pretty sure I do.
Celeste: Is there anything that you remember?
Scottie: My name... Scottie.
Celeste: What about your last name?
Scottie: Yeah... No... Where am I?

Growing up and watching soap operas can really mess a girl up. You can start to get addicted and lose sense of reality and fantasy. Suddenly, you look at your life the way your favourite star on daytime drama approaches hers. You envision yourself telling everyone off and leaving in a huff. And you imagine that you have uh-mazing hair that you can toss over your shoulder.

One ridiculous habit I adopted was that I would claim amnesia.
In my walk with the Lord, His Spirit would start to talk to me about things that were important to Him.
To do justly, to love mercy, to walk humbly before Him.
And I would agree. I would say, "Yes, Jesus. I love you and I want to walk in your ways."

And then...something would happen.
Perhaps it was a movie that I shouldn't be watching.
Or perhaps it was gossiping about someone who wasn't living up to my standard of holiness.
Or perhaps it was remaining in unforgiveness towards someone who had wounded me.
Whatever came up, I conveniently came down with amnesia.

"What's that Jesus? You want me to walk pure and set apart to You? Living my life through Your grace? And you don't want me to put images in front of my eyes that tolerate the things you hate and despise? What? What's this about? There's a scripture in Proverbs 4:20-27 that tells me how you want me to walk with You? Ohhhhh...'cause I didn't remember that. I don't remember anything. I have amnesia.
What do you mean, Jesus, that I am walking in unforgiveness towards that person and I've locked myself in a prison?
I don't really remember any of that talk, Lord. I can't seem to recall it. I don't know if you know but I have amnesia.

But my amnesia is about as real as the capped teeth on a prima donna soap opera star's smile.

I know what He has written to me in His word. I know it because I have followed His command to write it on my heart and bind it on my forehead. His word convicts me and reminds me that I need the cross.
The wondrous cross.
The cross that took all my gossiping, and all my unforgiveness and all my sin and put an end to the power it can have in my life.
Jesus didn't claim amnesia as He hung on the cross. He didn't conveniently forget me or how my sin burned against the Father's holiness. Instead, He said, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do."

Even when I did know that I was lying to God, denying that I had chosen to love myself more than Him, He cried, "Forgive them for they know not what they do."
Because I didn't know that lying to God, having convenient amnesia, was actually keeping me from the greatest love I could ever hope to know. I didn't know that my lying only showed my unbelief. It showed that I thought God would reject me and not accept me because of my sin.
I did not know or understand the power of the cross.

But I do now.
And I will never forget it.
The cross of Christ is where He remembered me in the midst of my sin, shed His blood and made atonement, where He forever proclaimed that I was remembered and now made worthy to stand before a Holy and Righteous God. My salvation was purchased, my life made new.

Thank you for the Cross, Jesus.

1 comment:

rachel said...

i htink i have selective amnesia too...thankyou for the reminder! xxx