Tuesday, April 20, 2010

And just exactly how do you get a lime in the coconut, hmmm?

My daughter asked if we could buy a coconut the other day. I said, "Yes." Not really thinking through the facts that:
1. I have never bought a coconut before
2. I have never had to open one before

So there it sat on my cutting board.
Staring me down like Clint Eastwood in a cowboy gunfight.
So I stared back with a steely eyed look that said, "You will not defeat me."

I grab a knife and begin the tedious job of hacking away at what is called 'the bone' (and the insides are called meat...are we still talking about fruit here?)
I hack, I saw, I grunt, I whack, I chop.
People, I followed directions ( I know, but there's always a first time for everything)
But it turns out that this coconut has more Clint Eastwood in him than I originally first thought.

I decide to bring out a machete-like big knife that you see all the fancy chefs use on Food TV.
I raise it in the air and my girls cry, "Head for the hills!"
Probably a good idea.

After twenty minutes and a good deal of saying, "Good grief" I finally manage to dislodge a large piece of coconut.
We eagerly reach in our spoons and scrape out some of the meat.
With great delight we put the spoonful in our mouth...
and then promptly spit it back out.

It seems raw, fresh coconut is not the same as shredded unsweetened coconut. I cannot coax them to have anymore.
So I tell my plans to the coconut, "I'm going to scrape your insides out and put them in my blender with some raw honey and banana."

To which Clint the Coconut says:



LeAnna said...

Oh my goodness, that list picture cracks me up. LOL!!!!

Crystal Young said...

Haha. A great post to start my morning. I have had the same I think you should keep Clint around for awhile. Was there coconut milk in there?


Daughter to THE King said...

LOL!!! This so made my morning, my kids like the googly eyes...hehehe. I hope you have a great day and it sound like no more coconut wrestling for you! :D

redeemed diva said...

Yes, Crystal, there was coconut milk. It was delish once put into a shake.

Mel said...

The last picture is hilarious. Happy that you were able to make use of it and not have it gone to waste. I don't think I would have thought of making milkshakes with it.

Brambleberry said...

LOVE it. Thank you for the laugh!!

Jenn said...

Too funny! Loved that last picture, just cracked me up!

thelumberjackswife said...

Ha! Love that last picture! Coconuts are hairy! :)

sara's art house said...

HILARIOUS!!!! You need to keep that guy for a pet!!! Haha

JoAnn said...

Oh My. This KILLS ME! You are hilarious, and I officially hate you for getting "the lime and the coconut" song stuck in my head.
I must follow. I must.

BK said...

Psssssst you know the three little depressions on the top of the coconut? Stick a screwdriver through them and you can pour the milk out. My dad used to live in Hawaii, he says NOTHING compares to fresh Hawaiian coconut, he refuses to eat any other kind. Love the last photo, that cracks me up!

redeemed diva said...

ARe you serious?! All I needed to do was jab it with a screw driver in that spot?! thanks for the tip.
And Mel... you commented. I love you!!! thanks for reading me! Jo Ann, your comments are equally as brilliant as your blog!
You ladies are so awesome. You know how to make a girl smile!

Anonymous said...

Oh, that's hilarious! I love your writing style, too - self-deprecating humor is fantastic. I'm gonna love following you. :^) (BTW, this is Tina over at Being Made New, but I'm not being allowed to post through my address - what's up with that? - so I'm going to try to do it anonymously.)