And just exactly how do you get a lime in the coconut, hmmm?

My daughter asked if we could buy a coconut the other day. I said, "Yes." Not really thinking through the facts that:

1. I have never bought a coconut before

2. I have never had to open one before

So there it sat on my cutting board.
Staring me down like Clint Eastwood in a cowboy gunfight.

So I stared back with a steely eyed look that said, "You will not defeat me."

See?

I grab a knife and begin the tedious job of hacking away at what is called 'the bone' (and the insides are called meat...are we still talking about fruit here?)

I hack, I saw, I grunt, I whack, I chop.

People, I followed directions ( I know, but there's always a first time for everything)

But it turns out that this coconut has more Clint Eastwood in him than I originally first thought.

I decide to bring out a machete-like big knife that you see all the fancy chefs use on Food TV.

I raise it in the air and my girls cry, "Head for the hills!"

Probably a good idea.

After twenty minutes and a good deal of saying, "Good grief" I finally manage to dislodge a large piece of coconut.

We eagerly reach in our spoons and scrape out some of the meat.

With great delight we put the spoonful in our mouth...

and then promptly spit it back out.

It seems raw, fresh coconut is not the same as shredded unsweetened coconut. I cannot coax them to have anymore.

So I tell my plans to the coconut, "I'm going to scrape your insides out and put them in my blender with some raw honey and banana."

To which Clint the Coconut says:

Noooooooo!