The Late Night Book Club for Me, Myself and I

"Diva?"

"What? Who me...you talking to me?"

"Yes. I am talking to you."

"I need to stop talking to myself...especially in two voices. It creates a picture of unsteadiness."

"You are side-stepping the issue."

"Ummm...what issue?"

"You went to bed late last night...again."

Silence.

"It was for a good cause."

"Reading a whole book is a good cause?"

"Yes."

"Uh-huh."

"It is. I'm....honing my vocabulary skills. I'm..."

"staying up til one am reading a book."

"Well, that wasn't the plan. I started it at 9 pm and I just couldn't put it down. Ok, I put it down once at 11:30 pm, but every time I closed my eyes all I could see was the character in Kenya and her fight against her bizarre kidnappers."

"You were at the part where she was safely in England studying birds."

"Now you're sidestepping the issue. The point is that I couldn't rest until I finished the book. So that's what I did. I read the whole thing from start to finish."

"And finished at one am."

"Yes. True."

"And your children wake up at 6 am, correct?"

"Yes. True again."

"And you remember how well you function on five hours sleep."

"Oh, shut it."

"See?"

Silence.

"Ok."

"ok what?"

"Ok, I won't read books after 8:30 pm any more. This time I mean it."

"We'll see."

"What? You don't believe me?"

Sigh. "I think you just need to be honest with yourself."

"Ok. You're right."

"And so?"

"I've resolved: to nap today."

"Swell."

"That's what I thought, too!"