Is there a jail for unwritten etiquette lawbreakers?

I broke code among women yesterday.

You know, the unwritten beauty,weight, tell your female comrade when she has something in her teeth code.

I broke it. Unwittingly, of course. But, still I broke it.

I saw someone at church who I hadn't seen since June. We usually attend a later church service and this week we attended the earlier one. She was there and I was so glad to see her. She looked radiant, round and ready for the maternity clothes stage of the game.

I gave her a big hug and asked her how she was feeling.

"Oh, much better," she assured me.

"Sounds like you're over the worst of it."

"Oh, I am."

"That's great. How many months are you again? Four or five?"

The colour left her face.

Uh-oh.

"I'm not pregnant."

The colour left my face.

Some serious unwritten women protocol had just been breached.

Uh-oh.