She gave me a quick, general answer. And then...
The next thing I knew we were talking about a subject that was two miles past the previous one. I sat confused for a moment as I tried to follow this new train of thought. I was traveling down this new road of conversation with her, but I had the distinct impression that I had left my purse, keys and wallet back at the last pit stop.
And then the light dawned on me.
She had just dodged the conversation. She had done it craftily and well.
I should know. I am an artful dodger.
When a topic comes up that I don't want to discuss, I dodge. I manuever. I weave. I spin. I, well, you get the idea. The point is there are only two reasons for dodging a conversation, and they are:
1. I don't want to have this conversation.
2. I don't want to have this conversation with you.
Sigh. The second reason is a bit hard to swallow. It doesn't go down easy. Kinda like dry cantaloupe muffins...another post for another time.
Surely, my friend is only having a reason number one moment, right? Right?!
My first instinct is to start asking myself a bevy of questions: why wouldn't she talk to me about it? Oh no, I was too forceful last time we talked. Too pushy. I talked too much, didn't listen enough. Now you are paying penance for being a bad friend.
Or perhaps, maybe it has nothing to do with me at all. Maybe this is her deal and she is only willing to share it with someone she trusts.
Maybe that someone isn't me.
Maybe I should ask myself if there is any reason I'm not trustworthy?
Yes, I could ask myself that. I could ask myself that right now.
And so, I made these cantaloupe muffins the other day. It was a new recipe. And since I had loads of cantaloupes I thought,"Hey, why not?" But it turned out that they were dry and terrible and were good for nothing except for dodging a series of questions that I might need to ask myself.