Judas

Today I have been thinking a lot about Luke 6:30-31 "Give to everyone who asks, and if somebody takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
Sometimes I want revenge. Sometimes I want to kick people in the head. Sometimes I wish God had said that rather to be kind to someone who's hurt you (because it will be like heaping hot ashes on their head) sometimes I wish He gave me permission to actually put hot ashes on their head.
But I know His word and that's what I want to live by. It says to forgive. I will forgive. Will I trust them again? Probably not. Absolutely not. I'm choosing to forgive right now, even though I really want to hate and curse and swear and say the words, "You are dead to me."
Betrayal is a funny thing.
Sometimes betrayal comes out of nowhere. Jesus at least knew what was coming-He knew Judas would betray Him. And that's kind of baffling to me: because if I had a choice of whether knowing I was about to be betrayed or just have a betrayal happen by surprise, I'd choose neither. Jesus knew ahead of time that He would be betrayed by Judas and yet He still loved him, still had dinner with him, still had compassion on him.
Today I want to be like Jesus, because if I was left to myself-I'd hang my Judas.
Dear Jesus,
Help me to love those who hurt me. Help me to remember that the precious things that belong to me can never truly be stolen away. Help me to choose love. Help me to look them in the eyes again without hate.
I choose to forgive them and their selfish actions. Repair the damage they've done to my heart. Restore in me a right heart and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
I bless them Lord. I pray that You would prosper them and cause them to flourish with what was once mine. I pray that it would be a continual source of joy for them.
I trust You to redeem me. I trust You to be faithful to me. You are awesome God and there is no one like You. Thank You for loving me.
Amen.