Wednesday, June 9, 2010

The Current Cause of My Life's Problems

I don’t really have any REAL problems in life. Health, family relationships, sanity-they are all in good standing.

But the singular cause and disruption to my summer bliss and peace, besides the weather, comes in the form a detestable yellow and mangey white bulge.

A cat.

Loathsome creature.

It is the only thing that is bringing angry words up my throat like vomit that burns.

Guess how it has wreaked havoc in my quiet little life?

It has had the nerve--the nerve!--to sit (SIT!) on my growing spinach.

My tender spinach.

My brave spinach.

The spinach that has been one of the only surviving members from the Week-Long Storm That Killed My Garden. It’s not enough to lose my meager crop to the angry scourge of weather, now nature conspires against me some more in the form of its most DETESTABLE creature.

My eyes narrow when I see that beast.

I need a plan.

A plan to rid my garden of the vermin that could potentially ruin the final straw in a garden that is on the brink of extinction and utter desolation.

I’m not above hurling projectile objects, but one must save those tactics for a desperate last resort.(I would never hit it, just narrowly miss it, thank you very much!)

Right now, my current plan is running out and screaming like a banshee until it runs away. But this morning it moved slower, not truly convinced that I was protecting my spinach plants. I believe, it thought, that this was a game we were playing.

Cheeky beast.

I need to solve this immediately.

It’s not the kind of anxiety that keeps you tossing and turning at night, but it definitely ranks in the category of making my mornings unpleasant.

It’s right up there with neighbours who mow their lawns at 7 am.

Utter nonsense.

I let you know when the situation has resolved itself.

May your life’s problems be just as shallow.

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