Well I was sitting, waiting wishing....
Today, and actaully this last month, feels as though I've been sitting and waiting for something to happen--which is a feeling I don't enjoy.
I know it's one of those times of hiddeness with God. It's a place where He develops the fruits of the Spirit and the attributes of His Son within my heart and life. Every motive is questioned--why am I doing this, saying this, thinking this? Is love motivating me or a sense of guilt, pride or a desperate need to have my ego stroked?
I love these times because I know God is doing a defining work in my life. He's answering the prayer I prayed during a time of refreshment. And yet, the feeling of waiting and wishing is something that I'm still not patient with. I don't like wishing. I like doing, action, moving forward. And yet, I know that I'm not to move forward but just to be still and know that He is God. If I'm still-I'll be refreshed by His glorious and rich presence. If I keep wishing I will get very frustrated and aggravated by the process in which He is working in me.
Sometimes I'm grumbling (old habit we meet again!) and sometimes it sounds like the chorus of a Jack Johnson song:
Must I always be waiting waiting on you?
But it's just a matter of perspective, right? Sometimes we grumble because it seems like we're always waiting on God. But if we actually waited on God (served Him, ministered to Him with all of our love) then we wouldn't feel like we were always waiting around...we'd realize that waiting on God is the most awesome opportunity we get. To serve the King with all our love, to be a lavishful worshipper of the one who made us: what a concept!
So that's where I am today. I feel like the Jack Johnson song Sitting, Wishing, Waiting and I'm transitioning to waiting on God with joy and fresh perspective.