My name is not Inigo Montoya

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did not watch Princess Bride yesterday.

And even if I had--which I didn't--I would never say, "Stop rhyming and I meant it! Does anybody want a ________?" I wouldn't say that with the actors because I don't speak out loud when I watch films. I am quiet like a stone.

In fact, finding me giggling at Vizzini saying, " You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - The most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line"! " Me, giggling at that? Inconceivable!

And I don't get scared when Buttercup is swimming in eel-infested waters. I did that when I was a kid and I am so not afraid of shrieking eels growing closer and closer and aaaahhhh! Becoming afraid like that would mean I've become totally engrossed in the film and I find I am watching the film as though I was little again. I never pretend to be little again. Ever.

And I did not pick up on jokes that I missed when I was younger. Because I am astute and nothing gets by me. Not even when the man in black says, ' Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.' I think I would've caught the first 20 times I watched it. After all, I am observant like a stone.

And I did not snicker when the clergyman said, " Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam... Snickering isn't something I do. It sounds like you are coughing through your nose and I don't know how to do that.

And I never imitate the Albino. Imitating requires skill and a good ear to be able to deliver the lines, "The Pit of Despair" with a raspy voice. I don't have a raspy voice, even though I am an albino. And I never guffawed as Prince Humperdink says to Buttercup "Please consider me as an alternative to suicide." Guffawing is awkward out loud laughing that draws attention to yourself. I don't draw attention to myself. Ever. I am part of the background. Like a stone.

And I didn't have the biggest smile on my face when Princess Buttercup flies through the air in her wedding gown looking like a beautiful falling star. I wouldn't get so much joy over seeing a beautiful bride, after all it's only a fairytale. And I don't believe in fairytales.

And I would never think about my own love story and the romance that I have with my own hero. That sounds so girly and silly. You'd have to ask me to dream to do that. And you know what I'd say to that, don't you?

As you wish.