Yes, a Canadian would think of this brilliant plan

Thanks for all the blog-love and remarks on my last day of having open comments.

Joann, I am more than willing to be the guinea pig here and I'll keep you posted as to how this whole 'no comment thing' is going. Who knows maybe I'll start a revolution.

Speaking of revolutions that I have started...

Did you know what day it is today?

You don't?

Well, let me enlighten you, dear friends.

It's Quit Facebook Day.

Yep.

I *heart* my country.

This is another Canadian brain child, and, frankly it's pure brilliance.

As most of you know, I've never gone on Wastebook Facebook and I have written several times about all of the Facebook craziness (You will recall such posts as: You're so vain, I bet you think Facebook is all about you; Has anyone seen my husband? and Expletives!)

Brilliant Canadians.

Thanks again for the blog love.

I appreciate all the sentiments (ktjane) and all the shock (BK). I do enjoy growing this little community and we'll see what happens in the future. As for now, I think it's important that I focus on my other duties.

Like...ending Wastebook.

Dem is fightin' words

In the red corner, we have the reigning champion. Heavyweight-hitter with a goal of world domination, Mr. weed-sucking-the-life-out-of-your-plants Dandy Lion!

(Crowd boos)

BOOOOOOOOO!

In the blue corner we have the challenging underdog, featherweight with a goal of yard weed annihilation, Redeemed Diva.

Crowd cheers

YAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!

(random guy holds up JOHN 3:16 sign)

Oh, what's this Dandy Lion gives Diva the squinty eye and says, "You are going down!"

Redeemed Diva does some fast talking. "Dude, first I'm going to boil your roots and kill your potential to dig deep and fight against me....

...then I'm going to stick you with this sword...

You will never age.

You will not grow grey.

You will never see your grandchildren.

(Leans close and whispers)You will die alone and friendless.

Who wins?

Find out....

dunh,dunh,dunh!

The shower is still a good place to cry in

There was a time not too long ago where I walked in complete brokenness.

It was during this time that my 5 blog readers would see simple posts like "The Shower is a good place to cry in" or "I am still here but barely" or the ever classic "I need to buy a punching bag."

I was broken. Severed. Cut in half.

And I wasn't even sure why. I had just reached a point where the last straw was put on this camel's back.

It didn't help that circumstances were the perfect condition to grow my character.

You see, my husband and I felt that the Lord was leading us to leave my husband's very high paying job. So we did.

We felt that God wanted him to take a job in another city (one we used to live in and LOVED). So we did.

We felt very strongly that He wanted us to move to this town. My husband had spent the last 18 months working two weeks away from us and then home for six days. We felt the Lord really wanted us to be together and that He wanted to bring us a fresh start. So we moved.

Even though, our house had not sold.

But as we prayed, we knew that God wanted us to trust Him to sell it.

So we did.

And He provided money for both our two bedroom rental and our house mortgage.

And then my husband lost his job.

It. was. gone.

And so I would cry in the shower.

And cry in the car.

And cry in my room.

I would say, "God, I thought I heard Your voice. You promised that Your sheep hear Your voice. But God, You told us to take this job. You led us to move here and uproot our family to this town. You told us to do this and now it is all falling apart. I was obedient, I followed Your voice. You owe me."

Uh-oh.

Did I really believe that in my heart?

I did.

And that's exactly what God wanted to put His finger on in my life. Somehow I had developed this idea that "if I scratch Your back, You'll scratch mine." I did. With the King of Kings. With the Creator of the Universe. I thought I could have Him owe me.

Such silly nonsense.

I bowed my head, "Lord, I'm so full of pride that I would allow my heart to be angry with You. I created expectations that You would do certain things for me. You have only asked me to trust You--You never told me that moving here would make my life rosy, You only told us to move here and to trust You. Forgive me for putting false expectations on You. Show me what You would have me do next."

Worship Me.

Now, I know you are all thinking that I immediately started praising Jesus for all His goodness and all His attributes of faithfulness.

Nope.

I yelled and pounded a pillow with my fist and say,"I don't want to thank You for the pit that I am in. You put me here, remember? OK, wait, forgive me for blaming You. But I hate it here. Why would I ever thank You for Your goodness when this feels so not good?"

Silence.

"Ok. Thank You for loving me. Thank You for being faithful to me even when I yell at You. Thank You that Your kindness leads me to repentance. Continue to be kind to me, Father. Thank You that in the midst of this turmoil You will turn things for good and You will be glorified. Thank You...thank You...thank You."

And just like a bud on a tree blossoms, I opened up under the tender hand of God. Scales fell off my eyes and I saw something that I had forgotten.

He is faithful.

And if He asks me to follow Him then I will follow Him. The way of Christ is full of suffering. Anyone who tells you different is schlepping another gospel.

Christ asks us to follow Him. He laid down His life. He served, poured out, laid down all his ambitions and dreams to serve the Father's will. And He calls us to do the same. We're naive to think that that won't cost us something.

It will cost you everything.

But the pleasures of loving Jesus far surpass any dream, any hope, any thing I could pursue on my own and for myself. For He is lovely and worthy of all honour, glory and praise.

I love how Graham Cooke says it, "If you are frustrated right now, it's a sure sign that the real issue is your maturity...the issue with us is not frustration, it is "how much patience do I have? How much faithfulness am I displaying?" That's the real issue. If you feel frustrated, if you feel thwarted, if you feel that things are held up then you have the wrong terminology for the lifestyle that God wants to give you. God is not frustrated. He is patient. It's impossible to be frustrated if you are patient."

I can do that God. I can allow You to change my heart. To stop being frustrated and to start being patient and to allow You to produce depth of character in me.

I will submit to that...even in the shower.

[SHE SAID] I am only a little rose or autumn crocus of the plain of Sharon, or a [humble] lily of the valleys [that grows in deep and difficult places].

Song of Solomon 2:1, emphasis added by me, Amplified version

Cracked,Chipped and Broken Character

Two weeks ago, you all got to see my kitchen.

And commented on how cute it was.

Thank you.

God uses my house to talk to me. Does He do that with you?

You see, what you see on the outside was lovely wasn't it? Maybe even caused a few of you to think, "how can I make my kitchen be more..."

At least that's what I do when I'm on other people's blogs and they seem to have amazing kitchens.

But come closer. Take a look. See this stain on the counter.

Borax. Javex. Baking soda can't get rid of it.

And every time I see it on the counter, I find myself thinking about how I've stained my life with sin, and how only His blood can wash me clean.

Check out this: It's broken.

It can't fix itself.

Just like me.

I'm reminded that I need some tender, loving care to be made whole again. And I need work. But I'm in capable and skilled hands. Hands that will make all things new and not just fix me, but restore me to wholeness.

And what about over here. This cupboard...so chipped it embarrasses me.

But every time I look at it I lay down my pride and embarrassment and go straight for thankfulness. I have a cupboard. I have a house. I have a family that lives in this house.

And somehow, through all the quirks of marred character it is becoming a holy habitation.

A place where His story is told.

A place where His glory dwells.

I was wrong to have Reservations about No Reservations

Remember that rant a long time ago? way back in the day when two people read my blog--Aunt Rosie and my mom (click here)

The one where I was mad that they had taken my favourite film and turned it into an American version of cheese, cheese and more cheese.

Well, I watched it recently.

And I wanted to go one record saying, "I was wrong."

They didn't destroy the film. The original is still much better, but I would watch the new version again.

(What? I can admit when I'm wrong.)

Blog about that!

A conversation that took place between my sister, Amesie-laa and I on Skype.

Amesie-laa will be referred to as A

and I will be referred to as me (that's short for redeemed diva, silly!)

A:I'm folding my clothes.

me:I can see that. I love Skype.

A: As do I. So what's new?

me: Not tons. Busy with my babies, helping Jeep with photography. You'se knows...the usual.

A: How's the blog going?

me: Not bad. I guess. Writing funny is hard. How did we become funny?

A: I think it's from Grandma.

me: I think you're right.

A: The other day I was visiting her and we were looking through photos of her. And she is a 'diva'. You should see her outfits. And I said "Gigi, you are so stylish!" And she says,"Was stylish. I was stylish. Now all they have for women my age is slacks.'

me: ruckus laughter.

A: 'slacks and turtlenecks' she says.

me: (more ruckus laughter) Yes, we got our humour from Grandma.

A: Blog about that!

me: increased ruckus laughter

A: Are you writing this down?

me: I am. I am.

A: I hope so. I'm giving you good material here.

me: I know, I know. Hey, you know what I thought about doing?

A:what?

me: I thought about putting up the clip of the time Sandra Bullock impersonated me.

A: I love Sandy!

me: I love that you say it like you know her.

A: Yeah. I love it that you think she impersonated you. You know who could play you? Peter Gabriel would do a good job. (Peter Gabriel is the guy with the thick eyebrows in the film "While You were Sleeping' click here)

me:I’m gonna cry! You are so mean to me.

A: Blog about that. And then link to that post about your eyebrows.

me: The No Wax Revolution? I could do that.

A: You know what's revolutionary? I mean. REV.o.LUTttttttion.ary.

me: No clue.

A: Avocado and scrambed eggs. Oh yeah. I'm going to go make some later.

me: That sounds good. I need a new thing for my avocados. A girl can only eat so much guacamole.

A: You mean 'guacamole'. Say it properly: Walk-a-mole-lay

me: Walk-a-mole-lay

A: Yeah. Bobby Flay's wife is really BIG on saying things with the correct pronunciation.

me: Good to know.

A: It's why we say 'hal-a-peen-yo' pepper and not 'ja-lop-e-no'

me: Jalapeno.

A: Jalepeno!

me:Jalapeno!

A: blog about that! Hey, you know what you can blog about?

me: What?

A: My neighbours.

me: You want me to blog about your neighbours?

A: yeah. Here's why. There's these new guys who live upstairs. Let me tell you, you don’t know how good you have it until your old neighbours are gone.

me: Too true

A:Anyway, I came home one night and the house smelled like cigarettes and maryjane. I shoulda known. I saw one of my neighbours friends last night. He was a total pot head and I thought "Well, that’s just ducky!!!!" I work for the police, for crying out loud.

me: That's an outrage! What ever happened to the simple days of  wearing turtle neck and slacks?

A: I know.Blog about that!

A Place for Lonely Hearts on Mother's Day

To the girl who sits in shaded silence today because her mother died at a young age; you have travelled years of growing up and growing into yourself and look for her whisper of approval in every woman that you have come close to. You've bravely stared today in the face and softly said the words,"I still remember you."

Today can be a lonely day.

To the girl who dreads this day and stays home from church, because she can't bear to hear that there are great moms to honour when she was robbed of that affection from a selfish woman who loved her unhealthy habits more than herself...more than her kids. You are familiar with the feeling of something being not quite right and asking yourself, "Why couldn't I be enough for her?Why would she do that to me?" You quietly ask yourself, "Will I ever do that to my kids?" And then swear to yourself you won't.

Today can be a lonely day.

To the girl who is made to feel small by her mother's words. Whose choices today constantly bring the disapproving sneer and the hard words that hit you across the heart. You wear the brave face of a soldier and weather her comments about your choices and how you are raising your kids.

Today can be a lonely day.

To the girl who is far away from family and watches as everyone else gathers in homes to celebrate, who picks up the phone and tries her best to say the words "I love you" but knowing that a hug would mean more; who struggles with being far away from all that is familiar.

Today can be a lonely day.

And yet the Lord is here.

Jesus will meets us in all of our weaknesses and bring comfort to those who mourn, and hope to the weary. He has placed you here, in the Body of Christ, where you are loved and appreciated for being a Daughter of the King.

He has a destiny and a plan for you.

Psalm 68:6 says so.

He sets the lonely in families.

Today doesn't have to be so lonely.

Friday Flashback: In 9 months time

Welcome to Flashback Friday.
Each Friday I write about something from my past. Sometimes it's meaningful, sometimes it's nonsense. But it all has purpose. Our past moments have all been a part of the story of who we are...so why not tell it!
Join me each Friday as I announce a topic and then we write about it and look back to see how far we've come. (Feel free to link in with old posts)

My friend Camie from My Life in a Blog picked this week's topic. Here's what she choose:

I considered a few options. And then I thought of the one story that gets every mother's tongue wagging and that is pregnancy and/or labor. You could include how you knew you were pregnant. Now, I've also taken into consideration that you might not be a mother yet, so I'd like to suggest that you share with us what it was like to hear your birth/adoption story as a child.

Whatever comes to mind when you read: In 9 months time....

Enjoy!

Here's my story. It starts NOW:

I suspected I was pregnant with my first child but ignored symptoms. I figured I was newly married and incapable of getting pregnant that quick.

Turns out I come from very fertile soil.

My husband and I went to the doctor's and I asked Jeep to wait out in the waiting room while I went pee in a cup. They ushered me into the room once I left my sample and then a nurse or the doctor, can't remember, told me that I was pregnant. And I remember thinking, "Where is Jeep?" But we had just not been able to get to the room together. We were newly married and didn't realized how things worked. Always go with your spouse on big issues--nurses like to hurry you into tiny rooms and reveal life altering truth while handing you a gown and recommending you get naked.

I knew I was pregnant with my second child when I opened the fridge door and I looked at the Sricha sauce and the mayo and thought, "I should mix those together."

I shut the fridge door and said, "Baby, I think we're pregnant."

The third time, I thought I was pregnant.

I was going into the doctor's office for a follow up for one of my kids and I thought I'd get a pregnancy test done. It came back negative and I went home crushed.

I was depressed for a week and sat on the couch lethargic and morose.

Jeep was home from working out of town and I was a general lump on the couch complaining that I needed more sleep, more food and more sanity. Heather came the next week and I said, "I don't know why I'm in such a funk. I just can't get my act together." She asked if I was pregnant and I said 'no. I was down a little about not being pregnant and was generally feeling lost as a mom and woman.

"You're pregnant," she declared.

I knew I wasn't.

Jeep came home with a pregnancy test. I obliged but I left the room and sat on the couch. I told him he and my daughter could let me know the results.

Well my sweet little girl came running in and said, "Guess what, mama? You are going to have a baby!"

And I did.

What's your story from "In 9 months time..."

Quick, Hide in the Barn!

Quick! Hide in the barn...all you useless countertop cluttering items.

Wait! Dishwasher, stay...I *NEED* you. The rest-- clear outta here...the tv crew will be here shortly.

My girls found a way to incorporate some magic

And my lady bug rock is really happy she's not being trampled by the clutter anymore. Look at her eyes, she's still recovering from her near death experiences.

And my stove is so jolly and the tea pots just ready to go

And look at this corner. So bright and friendly.

Now when the TV crew arrives to interview me I will look like a suave homeschooling Mom.

Just as long as they don't open my bedroom door where I stashed everything.

I really need to get a barn.

I did not kill Bob the Tomato or Larry the Cucumber

This Not Me post is using the adjectives and similes my wonderful readers provided in the comments section of my last post. Quite a challenge, ladies! Let's do this again some time shall we? (Similes and adjectives are in bold)

Today has not been slow and methodical. I have not felt as though I'm travelling through the day like a raindrop on a window. Slowly tracing my way down transparent panes. I should feel that way tomorrow, when we get blustery rain.

I did not learn from my sista, (as in simply, fabulous, dear wonderful friend) that I have made a mistake with my gardening. I don't make mistakes, much less blog about them.

I did not plant my seeds in tiny pots and then bring them outside everyday for sunshine. I wouldn't do something so colorfully ridiculous.

There are rules about gardening, you know.

It's called 'hardening off'. And you do that well after your plants have sprouted. You would never do that during their initial stage of life...because that would kill them faster than a new-super-sized microwave on high heat. I don't know how to use a microwave therefore I am metaphorically uncapable of killing new plant life.

Because in gardening, I didn't just dive in and make a go of things hoping it'll turn out. That would be like a junior high girl going down a wet, slippery waterslide on a boiling hot day while wearing a bikini. No, I don't make a go of things hoping everything will be nice and neat and all in place at the end. That's not me.

I did not decide to just hurry up and plant seeds because I didn't want to pay for the starts at a nursery. I wouldn't be so delightfully delusion as to hope that I could just throw some seeds in a pot and save money! Not me. I am willing to pay full price. I am a pyrrhic gardener and will drop as much money as my garden needs.

Some would say it's a mischievous person who would blame the lack of space in their laundry room for the reason of moving their plants out each day. And I would say that those people might want to look up the definition of mischievous and realize that they are using it at the wrong place and the wrong time.

Mischief? In the garden? Not capable of it.